Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Regrets.

Guys I am having major regrets right now. Like super major. I knew when I made the decision that if I made the choice that I did I would end up regretting it and here I am about three months later so so sad and feeling major regret. also have you said the word regret over and over ever? Don't. It sounds terrible and I am not sure if I am even using the correct word anymore. Continuing on...

So if you spend any amount of time with me you will quickly discover that I have a very deep love for Chicago. It's intense and I truly believe I belong there. But I am here. In Minnesota. And not exactly hating it but far from loving it. Back in July when I applying for jobs I was basically only applying for jobs in Chicago. And I had no luck. Jamal's grandparents live there and we strongly considered moving down with them and job hunting but I didn't want to live in someone else's house ya know. We had been talking about getting an apartment and the thought of moving into his grandparents was not appealing in the least bit. But alas here we are three into living on our own and while I love that aspect I just cannot get Chicago out of my head. 

The thing that really bothers me the most is that would have been the perfect time for us. I had just graduated and had nothing really keeping me here and Jamal was working two jobs that he is not passionate about and considering going back to school so we could have moved I could have found a job and he could have started school down there. Instead we are here now and I feel like we have started too much to leave anytime soon. We signed a 13 months lease, I got a new job a month ago, and Jamal starts school in two weeks. Just perfect, right? 

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have wrote the announcement post in my head. Thinking about how great it would be to tell all of you and what a surprise it would be. But instead I am writing this pathetic post and whining about what could have been. And along with all of that I just feel like I am coasting through life right now which I hate. I know I have only been in this new routine for a couple of weeks but I am already sick of it. It feels like the same thing over and over and I don't feel like I am challenging myself or growing. 

Ugh. Here I am wishing that I made a different choice. Wishing that I sucked it up and moved in with his grandparents. It wasn't going to be forever anyway. So I know I will be here for at least another year but I have been trying hard not to plan too much beyond that. Because I will still have the opportunity again to move there one day or we may settle down and eventually buy a house here. I have no idea what is going to happen and I am attempting to let life flow versus trying to control every aspect. It's not easy, but I'll try. >>>>>also, that was my attempt at not ending on a super crabby note even though I really wanted to. 



Monday, October 27, 2014

Girl's Weekend

Here we are with the start of another week. I had an awesome girl's weekend while Jamal was away in Chicago without me and feel ready to take on Monday. Plus he will be home tonight so that makes it all the better :) (Yesterday was his 25th birthday. Sucked spending it apart but he had a great time with his family)

We had such a fun and busy weekend. Colby Jack and I were both cozy in bed shortly after nine which is super early compared my usual time of 11 or later. It just goes to show how great of a weekend it was. 

Friday night it was just me and Colby Jack and I may have had myself a small pity party. More info on that tomorrow but I got over myself, read some more of my book and went to bed. Saturday I got up early thanks to the wild puppy and when it was apparent he would not let me sleep any longer I got up took a quick shower and off to the dog park we went. I love having a dog park in our complex it is so nice and convenient. Seriously the best thing ever. He played with a few friends and then we went back inside to continue on with our day. I went and got my friend Nickle so we could have a crafty girl's day. More on that later this week. And then I ended the night finishing my book. 

Sunday morning started out bright and early again. I am convinced Colby Jack hates to see me relaxing in bed. He whines and whines until I get up. We went out to the dog park again to play with friends for a bit and then went to pick up Nickle and Elijah to go to the dog park with me, my mom, and my sister. We went to the Minnetonka Orchards since they are very dog and kid friendly. 



We walked through the mostly disappeared corn maze, took a hayride, watched Elijah play in the sandbox and get a train ride, and ate many delicious apple treats; cider, donuts, turnover, and of course a caramel apple. So so good. 



It was a really good weekend but I am more than ready for Jamal to be home. 


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I'm Back!

Oh hey!! Been a while. Let me tell ya, having no couch to sit on so can I blog is tough. Even tougher, no internet. Hence my absence around here. While I still am without a couch I finally can connect to the rest of the world through wi-fi thankfully. And hopefully a couch will be here soon. Jamal thought he would rather spend all of our money on our bed, or what he calls The Cloud. So that is why we have had nowhere to sit for the past two and a half weeks. But we have found a cute sectional we like and once it is made to our liking (the chaise is on the wrong side) our home will be (mostly) complete. 

Life has really not been that exciting for the past couple of weeks. I go to work in the am, come home and take Colby Jack to the dog park behind our building, and then once it's dark head inside and find something to entertain myself until Jamal gets home. And for the past couple of weekends we have been spending a lot of time at my moms because we believe in a gradual move and still have a lot of crap there and need to clean. Slowly but surely things are coming together here though and I kinda love it. 

My new job is going really well. I am nervous about meeting my sales goals because sales are not my strength but I got my first credit card referral so I was pretty excited about that. And I have been getting full time hours the past few weeks which is so nice and I potentially could take a full time position in the near future. 

Jamal is starting school in just a couple of weeks now. I am really excited for him but also dreading it because his new schedule is going to suck. As of now the plan is for him to go to class from 11-3 and then work overnights so he can still work at his current company with full-time hours and decent pay and keep his weekends free. I am not a happy camper about it though :( It will be a big adjustment for us and he will be looking for a job with better hours eventually so we just have to endure it for now. 

Okay well I think that was a nice little update on where I've been. I am trying to catch up on all of our blogs too but I am way behind. Maybe we will talk later this week :)


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