I am only weeks away from finishing my degree and with that comes a lot of contemplation. I couldn't wait to get to this point of my life. Being done with school, having a career and starting a family. I have looked forward to this forever. And trust me I still am as excited as ever but this time also brings with it some dreams from the past. I feel as though I am stuck in the middle somewhat. I am so happy for what is to come yet also feeling like maybe I missed out a bit and didn't live my college career to the fullest.
I always wanted to study abroad but I never did it. Mostly because it is pretty expensive but also because it is pretty scary too. Luckily I can still travel for the rest of my life and don't have to have the stress of school with it but it most likely will only be for short periods of time versus a whole semester like I could have done in college. Or even a short trip like I did with NYC, I wish I did more of those too. It was a great experience and I would have loved to have been able to go on more of those.
I often wish that I had studied harder. I am not exactly the studious type. School came easy to me up through high school and studying was foreign so when I got to college and class got hard I wasn't entirely sure what to do. So I do wish that I would have put more effort into my classes but in the end I will have the degree and that is what is important.
I am going to miss having so much flexibility with my life. I have worked throughout my entire college career minus freshmen year but since it was just a job to make some money there was always a ton of flexibility with it. Careers don't come with that. Yes I get vacation time and such but it isn't the same, for the most part I have a steady schedule and have to be there every single day Monday through Friday. I kind have a love hate relationship with this.
The idea of being carefree and having the world at my hands is kind of gone too. Yes here I am fresh out of college with many opportunities to take but it is different. Before I felt like I had time. Time to think and do anything I wanted but now I have bills to pay and time is not exactly on my side.
But I have a ton to look forward to now. I still can move anywhere I want, search for a great job, travel and see the sights. And of course hopefully start planning a wedding soon and one day down the road buy my first home and even way farther down the road have a kid or three. Those are really exciting things. As this chapter of my life is closing it is fun to look forward at what is to come. Things I have dreamed of for my entire life. And while yes there are things I wish I had done differently in college I can say that I am happy. Happy with what I have done and happy to see where I go.
This post is kind of a jumbled mess as are my thoughts. It is just kind of a reflection and what is going on in my head. Couple all those random thoughts with a mile long stressful to-do list of school work and an organized well put together post just isn't going to happen. Sorry.